Sometimes I look at American culture and wonder about the messages we send to kids.
For example, kids today don't have to be concerned with business sense. Why bother with that night class on economics at National College when the government will just bail out your failing company?
We also teach kids a lot about compassion. Look at the compassionate way we treat homosexuals. Any U.S. Senator will tell you; gay people are a sub class of human beings and do not deserve the same basic rights as heterosexuals.
Even the toys we give kids are fucked these days. Take a look at the Playskool Adventure Squad toy:
I stole that picture from Amazon. You can see the product on their site here. That's the police version; there is also a racer version. Which, I think, is perpetuating one of the biggest lies we tell kids: NASCAR is acceptable.
We can't even teach kids how to spell anymore. Playskool. Really? Look, I don't want to be one of those grammar whores; insisting people use the word "whom" and nearly having a brain aneurysm every time someone says "ain't," but come on, Playskool!? How did that name even come about?
Playskool Marketing Douchebag 1 - Okay, so everyone agree? We're going with Play School?
Playskool Marketing Douchebag 2 - Yeah, but let's spell it with a K.
Playskool Marketing Douchebag 1 - Why?
Playskool Marketing Douchebag 2 - 'Cuz that's how we rollz downtown, son.
If you watch the advertisement for the toy, there is some little bastard chasing his father around the house, trying to arrest him.
Shouldn't someone over at Playskool be worried about the safety problems this toy will undoubtedly cause?
Stairs? Sharp Corners? Walls?
It's not like the thin plastic of the helmet is going to protect your kid's skull.
Mounted to the helmet is a microphone. When the kid presses a button on the handlebars and then talks into the microphone, it amplifies his own voice into his ear.
So, in case your kid is too stupid to realize he can hear his own voice when he speaks, the microphone can shout his words back at him. Awesome!
And if all that wasn't enough, there are seizure-inducing, flashing lights on the helmet. Because if your kid is going to be running around the house, you want his vision to be as impaired as possible.
Why not just give your 5-year-old son two shots of whiskey and let him go play in traffic?
We are dooming the future.
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