Here in the United States, the penny, or cent, is the lowest valued currency in use. It is valued at one hundredth of a dollar.
And it is fucking worthless.
It's 2008, and it's about time we stop using the damn things.
First of all, it costs the U.S. Mint 1.7 cents to make a penny that is only worth 1 cent. I'm not much of an economist, but I'm pretty sure if you're spending more than you're making, you stop producing before you end up in so much debt you start giving reach-arounds at your local 7-Eleven for five dollars.
Even if we weren't wasting money making them, pennies would still a pain in the ass. Anyone who has ever worked in retail will tell you they hate counting them. I usually tell customers I hate pennies while I'm handing them their change. To which customers usually reply, "they all add up."
This is a delusion that a ton of people have. If I save all my pennies in a jar, it won't be long before I have a lot of money saved. This is bullshit.
You could save up a thousand pennies and they would only be worth ten dollars. Ten dollars! What good is that? A jar of my piss would sell for more than ten dollars on Ebay.
American consumers spend millions, if not billions, of dollars a day. We spend so much fucking money our national debt is 9.5 trillion dollars (even as I'm writing this article the national debt is rising). Do you know how many pennies you would need to pay off 9.5 trillion dollars? It's an unfathomable amount. It would be like trying to put out a fucking forest fire by waving your penis at the flames. It's just not going to happen.
In America, pennies are worthless. We should round them all up and ship them off to Sierra Leone, where the average wages are so low that a few pennies could actually make a difference.
That way, when we call ourselves the greatest country in the world, we can point to something decent we've actually done. Instead of, say, invading a country in search of weapons that don't exist.
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