I'm so sick of dumb commercials. There are so many clever people in the world, why do companies hire thoughtless fuckwads do write them commercials?
One of the worst things about commercials are jingles. Those fucking things get in my head and won't leave. I'd never buy the product though, I try to consciously avoid buying from companies with terrible commercials. I was actually thinking of trying to form a lawsuit against companies with annoying commercials for causing me psychological harm. (If you're a lawyer, email me.)
How can you be proud of yourself as a jingle writer? You think the people who write jingles invite their friends over to watch their latest crime against man aired? I guess you'd have to presume that people who write jingles for a living have friends to invite over. Probably unlikely.
Another thing that kills me about commercials is the choice of characters in them. I saw the latest KFC commercial the other day, the one where the mall security guard is eating one of the new Vomit Bowls. Do you know why they show a mall security guard eating the KFC Vomit Bowl?
BECAUSE NO SELF RESPECTING PERSON WOULD EVER PUT THAT SHIT IN HIS BODY!
I don't understand where they find the P-list actors to star in these commercials either. Two fucks I really hate are those assholes in the Safe Auto commercials. If I ever see that woman in real life, I swear I'll strangle that bitch. If you have Safe Auto, cancel it. Go somewhere else, I don't care where.
Do these actors go to Hollywood and just lay down in the gutter until someone asks them to humiliate themselves in an inane commercial? Don't those people have any dignity? How much can you possibly get for being in the Orbit commercial? I would think you being on tape calling someone a "Lint Licker" would be a reason to get pistol whipped, not something you'd get a fucking paycheck for.
The next time you see a ridiculous commercial, make a point to not buy that product. If enough of us do it, I might be able to watch TV without foaming at the mouth.
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